I finally hit my moment of clarity after over 6 months of analysis and contemplation. I give credit to Ayanna. We had lunch today at Japonessa and it was like old times. We’re officially caught up and up-to-speed on the trial and tribulations of our lives. Gotta love those 3.5 hour lunch dates – tears, laughter and all!

I’m going to make a conscious effort to stop feeling sorry for myself. I will give myself permission to cry when I want to, but I won’t feel sorry for myself anymore. It’s okay to feel sad once in awhile, but I will turn to the joy of life and revel in it. Life is too short to waste on misery and despair.

So, I’d like to thank my best friend and fag hag, Ayanna, for snapping me out of it.

The temperature is hot here in Seattle. The Sun is providing the Vitamin D I need to celebrate Pride this weekend. Although I’m alone, I’m going to celebrate my singleness. So, I’ve decided to fire up my Grindr once more.

I just updated my profile and photo and will take a look at it in about an hour. I wanna see who’s around. My therapist says I’m an attractive, intelligent, and amazing guy. I need to share myself with the world for all to see. I’m much better now than I have been the last few years. I am free.

I now need to be carefree. This is where I was 9 years ago and this is where I will be again. I can’t worry about what people think. I think this is the lesson I am learning.