I saw my therapist on Friday and he noticed that I’ve been making excuses of late for potential guys to date. I didn’t notice it until he called it out. For example, with C.J., I described him as “too young” for me; while my neighbor, Chris D, was just “not into me” because I couldn’t sense his interest.

He said that it made total sense that I’m in this “excuse making mode” – I’m afraid to get hurt again and I’m protecting my heart. He recommends that when I’m ready to start dating I need to be willing to take that risk to be vulnerable again.

Relationships and dating means opening up to someone and having that vulnerability. I have to understand that there is the chance that I might get hurt, but I cannot hide from that risk. It’s the pain of being human. I have to put my heart out there.

I know that some guys won’t be into me even though I may be into them. And that’s okay. If I don’t take the risk, I’ll end up being single for a long time. So, I’ll make the conscious effort to be vulnerable. If (and when) I get a little heartache, at least I have this manifesto to write it out.

Here goes nothing.