Throughout the years, you meet someone who is a kindred spirit and someone who will always be there through all the major milestones in your life. There may be segments of time where your friendship has paused, but no matter the amount of time in-between – the friendship is always there like time hasn’t really passed.

Ayanna is one of my best friends in my life. Yes, I’ve known her for over 13 years now. It was an instant connection that has survived over multiple boyfriends/relationships (for both me and her). I think we met aeons ago in the original realm of Atlantis. (See future Appendix on Atlantis.)

It’s been about 2+ years since I last connected with her; both of our lives have been insanely busy and time just goes by without us realizing it. It just happens. One day we’re doing the bars one weekend; the next it’s 3 years later and we’re catching up. There’s no awkwardness or blame – just an excitement to reconnect and hang out again.

Ayanna could be labeled as one of the major “Fag Hags” of my life. Although a hag she is definitely not! She is a Dark Chocolate African Goddess from time immemorial. During one of our excursions, she was even accidentally called the Princess of Zambia! She is incredibly courageous and by far my intellectual superior. She continues to be the sage in our friendship, always giving me the most profound advice.

She’s my girl and I will always love her for being there in my life. I cannot continue this tale of singledom without her introduction. She is a major character in this tale and her story runs parallel to mine.

Tonight, we finally had a chance to catch-up. I finally brought her up-to-speed on my life and she did the same. Ironically, as I was going through my break-up back in December, her life was going through a series of major changes herself. The funny thing is that I tried to call her, text her, and e-mail her back in December, but for whatever reason my messages never went through. She, too, tried to contact me and text me, but I ended up not receiving any of her texts. The Universe did not want us to connect at that time. It was so strange.

When we needed each other most – we were forced to face our demons head-on, alone. However, my problems are insignificant compared to hers. It puts things into perspective. I know she will remain strong and be there for me in this next chapter. I will be there for hers as well.

What’s a single gay man’s story without a major turning point to get him to snap out of it?! I just wish this was just a movie and that I could just avoid the reality – the gravity – of the situation. Tonight, my heart goes out to Ayanna, who’s been there in my life through the joy and the pain.

My best friend, Ayanna, has Stage IV breast cancer.