Tag Archives: Craigslist

Recluse

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After an exhausting 2+ week conference (and prep), I feel like disconnecting. I’ve noticed that I’ve become more of a recluse the past couple weeks on my free time. I don’t feel like socializing with anyone at all.

At the same time, I’ve noticed that my dog is exhibiting the same behaviours. We have both become reclusive creatures. I need to do something about that.

On top of all of this, I realize that I don’t know how to “meet” anyone anymore. I am tired of the bar scene and have eliminated that option altogether. I’m getting tired of Grindr because of the same people online, plus I don’t think anyone is really into me here in Seattle. Craigslist is only good for one night stands. Match.Com is horrible at finding good matches. People at work are all taken. SIGH.

My friend CJ recently posted this article on Facebook: http://www.yourtango.com/2013188018/love-analysis-paralysis-digital-age 

I describe this as “The Grindr Effect”. You can select, filter, search, and message a person instantly – based on specific preferences. There is no room for variance anymore. Specificity has become a curse in this day and age of online relationships. There’s no room for error. As a result: a really great guy with amazing potential is often passed up based on the >5% standard deviation of one’s target person. This is a bit depressing.

So what to do?

You disconnect and become disgusted with how people are so finicky about guys. One becomes a recluse to focus on other things in life. At least for the time being…

Hook-Up Guy #4

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One weekend I decided to respond to an ad on Craigslist. Married White Male, alone for the weekend, wife was away on travel. He seemed nice via e-mail, but was your typical “straight/married” guy who wouldn’t send photos for fear of getting caught.

So, I went over to his house in Lower Queen Anne, near Kerry Park. The house was a gorgeous home with a beautifully landscaped yard. He had a rather large dog which was overly friendly and wanted to play with me.

Stats:

  • Where did we meet: Craigslist
  • Age: 40 (but looked way older)
  • Height: 6′
  • Weight: 185 lbs
  • Ethnicity: White guy, light blonde (or grey)
  • Position: Top
  • Penis Size: 6″
  • Best quality: Gentleman qualities

What freaked me out a bit was that he said he had a furnished basement and he lured me down there. Stupid, I know. But when hormones overwhelm you, all rational judgment gets locked away. In retrospect, he could have been a serial killer and I could have easily ended up on the evening news.

But fortunate for me, he was just a horny married man who wanted to fool around with a guy before his wife came home.

And so, fool around we did. From what I recall, he had a decent body, but he definitely was older than what he was describing on his personal ad. This turned me off big time. There comes a point in a man’s life when you can no longer pass for a certain age. My time will come; your time will come; and his time came and went.

He looked 10 years older than the age he was describing himself as. But this was a “rare” married guy wanting to get off – so for the interest of all gay men – I made sure to give him the best experience possible that his wife couldn’t give him.

When all was said and done. I thanked him and went my merry way.

The funny thing is that married men having gay sex is not actually a rare thing. It happens quite often, more so now that gay culture is so widely accepted. This guy was an executive with some free time on his hands. He probably has two kids that he’s raising on top of all this.

You’re probably telling yourself: a married guy with kids having gay sex has got to be gay. Well… yes and no. The difference with a married guy having sex with a guy and a gay guy having sex with a guy most often has to do with the heart. The married guy was just probably going through the physical act without caring about who I was. It was the lust, libido and the heat of the moment driving him. For a gay guy, there is all that, plus a tiny connection/attraction to the guy they are having sex with. For convenience sake, I will describe this as a “heart connection”. Even though its tiny and insignificant for some, the connection is there. It’s what draws you to that hot guy in the first place.

This married guy’s heart connection is most likely with his wife. He had none with me. So, no matter how many times he’s hooked up with men; his wife, ironically, still has his heart. Is it still cheating? Hell, yes. But that’s not my problem.

I’m just here to get off.

Virtual Romance

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Out of pure boredom, I put up a Craigslist ad this past weekend. I had no intention of actually hooking-up – I just felt bored and lonely and wanted to see how many responses I would get. It was sort of an ego stroke to get me motivated to start dating, I guess.

I received several responses, about 10% were of interest. One guy was a married guy who’s wife was out shopping for the afternoon and he wanted to kill time. Another was a visitor to the Seattle area, probably married as well, in his early 30s wanting to get off. Also, the Rock-N-Roll Marathon was happening and I noticed one ad that was posted: 38 y/o Married White Male, looking for a quick release after the race. Interesting ads. In any given moment, the ads online exhibit such lust and desperation; it’s all very entertaining!

ImageAnyway, back to my ad, I received several responses, but decided to just flirt. One guy named “JD” was so interested in me, he begged to text me and wanted to send me explicit photos of himself. Hey, to each their own, right? I’m not into sexting at all. There was a time and age where I probably would have enjoyed it immensely, but I usually find it tiresome.

JD, however, begged and begged and begged for my mobile number. Being the skeptic that I am and distrustful of guys who I just met online, I setup my Textfree account and gave him my “fake” mobile number to text. So he started texting me and seemed quite interesting.

JD’s Stats:

  • 36 y/o White guy
  • Texting me from Akron, Ohio
  • Lives with his elderly parents who are in their 80s
  • HWP – around 5’10”
  • Very cute, if not, handsome face. (I wonder why he can’t find a guy? Oh yeah, he’s in Ohio.)
  • 3rd Grade School Teacher
  • Not technically savvy at all! (A huge turn off for me.)
  • Totally into me. Or else just horny as hell and wanting to get off.

So, I think I find JD physically attractive and if he was in the same city as me, I would hang out with him and probably go out for drinks. BUT he’s hundreds of miles away from me! On top of that, he’s still in the closet. As curious as I am to find out more about him and learn about his closeted existence, I realized that this would be an investment of my time and my emotions. I genuinely care about any guy I invest time in whether its for conversation or for a hook-up.

Since this gentleman is in Ohio, the investment to get to know him would prove unfruitful since I can’t even go over and hang out with him; or even make out with him. What’s the value of that! Zero.

Part of me is curious though. I wonder how a cute guy like this continues to live in the closet. It must be a frustrating place to be. I can only imagine the desperation and loneliness living that way. For that, my nurturing behavior wants to rescue him and save him. I want to bring him into the fold of gayness and have him celebrate amongst all the openly gay men of the world!

But I don’t have the time or energy to invest in this one. Someone else in Ohio will have to be his savior. I am in the process of trying to save myself.

It’s too bad really. Because he is damn cute.

Hook-Up Guy #1: Tim

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The first guy I hooked-up with in this single life was named, Tim. I put a random ad out on craigslist just to see what would happen and he responded.

Stats:

  • Where did we meet: Craigslist
  • Age: 31
  • Height: 5’11
  • Weight: 165-170 lbs
  • Hair Color: Brown
  • Position: Top – He’s “straight”
  • Penis Size: 8″
  • Best quality: Cock

The physical attraction towards Tim was/is intense. He’s a landscape designer/architect/garden expert, so he works hard physically. He’s definitely in shape, but not ripped. Lean body type with semi curly hair. A bit on the longer side, not a huge plus for my tastes.

We immediately hit it off in my apartment and had a great time. The hook-up was sexually fulfilling. I paid attention to him; he paid attention to me. Something I appreciate in a longer term relationship. From start-to-finish, the whole thing lasted for over an hour. It was fun!

I bring up Tim because there are qualities about him that allure and fascinate me. I don’t think he would do well as a long-term relationship for me because for one thing he considers himself straight. Yes, he’s fucked women and had long-term girlfriends for all of his life. He’s said that I’m the first guy he’s been with (yeah, right) and that he just gets these cravings once in a while.

More proof that sex for most men is purely physical – there is the separation of heart and libido here.

Another turn-off for me was his scruffy look. He had some facial hair which typically is a big turn-off for me; but the chemistry elsewhere outweighed the costs – namely his cock. So far, in all my escapades, Tim has the most gorgeous, perfect penis that I’ve seen in sexual partners. The size was a perfect 8 inches, smooth skin, not too veiny, a nice proportion of head and shaft. His pubic area was also well kept/maintained. (Was this guy really straight?! YES, he actually was – his attire screamed straight Pacific Northwesterner/Seattle-lite.)

All-in-all Tim was an awesome hook-up. I’d really like to hang out with him again.