I just received a phone call from my aunt. My mom’s sister. One of her sisters.

My mom is not doing well and I’m helpless to do anything to rectify the situation. I could probably do it if I won a million bucks, but that isn’t the reality.

My stepfather, her husband, died of lung cancer recently. This piece of news I just found out today as well. To make matters worse, my mom is unable to keep work and is living off of her Social Security which makes it more difficult. She’s not able to work and stay in reality. Her schizophrenia is at it’s worse. She’s not taking any medications and she’s barely able to stay coherent.

My aunt told me that she’s about to be kicked out of her home. She wanted to see if I could help her out, but I can’t. I truly cannot. I’m in a bind. I feel absolutely guilt-stricken and I can’t do a thing about it. Why does news like this always happen during the holidays? My life is a fucking joke.

Here I am thinking about my heart and finding the man of my dreams when my mom is suffering and about to become homeless. This is Karma telling me to pay attention and prioritize my life. Oh, but the irony is: if I was still with Chris, I think I’d be able to support her. The irony is that this path that I’ve just taken in 2013 has derailed not only my life, but any chance of supporting my Mom through this.

My Aunt was in tears over the phone, setting me off as well. I’m at Starbucks as I type this… In full view of strangers as I grieve.

My Aunt is going to take over the finances of my Mom’s. She’s going to help as best as she can. Her final words to me before she hung up: “We’re family. We take care of eachother. We’re family… We’re family…”

Yes, we are. We are family.