I woke up this morning to a text message from Matt. Basically, how much he misses me and can’t wait to call me.

I responded in the like and told him that I was “his”. He didn’t respond as I anticipated. In fact, he responded guiltily and said I deserved a lot more – someone who can give me more.

I was straight forward and asked him if he wanted to end it. He replied that he didn’t, but feels like a bad person to be with. Throughout our text messaging, he shared that he was so wrong for me and that I deserved better. All probably true, but my heart is already in love with him. 

Is this the tragedy that I was trying to avoid? Why have I fallen in love with someone who is not in the right configuration for me? Perhaps the answer is simple: I’ve just chosen Matt because the matters of the heart are unexplainable at times. I just love him.

The conversation continued on with him wanting to know how he “adds value” to my life. I told him the truth: He challenges me in a way I’ve never been challenged before, by pushing me outside of my comfort zone and letting me grow in a way I have not realized. The “growing” is painful at times, but I’m realizing how strong I can become. In addition, he’s proven to me that I can love another person again. Isn’t that value add enough?

So, he got on his flight and is heading home to DC. 

I left him with a few thoughts and parting words: 

• How do I add value in his life?
• Why does he want to date me?
• Why doesn’t he want to let me go?

More to follow, I’m sure.